Here is a call for the endurance of the saints, those who keep the commandments of God and their faith in Jesus. Rev.14:12.

Today I finished a crucial segment of God With Us.  This research and writing process is an exhilarating adventure, a gift of intimate grace.  The dwelling places of God in the covenants have captivated me forever.  When I am immersed in writing, eyeball deep in commentaries and notes, several internet windows open as I swim in glistening waterfalls of fresh revelation, I am worshipping every second.   Life bubbles up in my spirit, a clear fountain of cleanness and purity, washing me new from the inside out.

I walk away from my computer, and darkness falls on top of me.  In an instant.  Its like clockwork right now.


I suddenly panic, like a million narrowed eyes are fixed on me, claws extended; dark presences held at bay by a fragile thread that might snap in an instant.  They are going to get me; I’m going to fail; I can’t do this.  A sticky film of imminent failure and loss hovers close to me, like mosquitoes buzzing behind citronella flame on a muggy day.

Accusation.  They got to me before, they can do it again.  This is the most effective lie.  It stops me in my tracks every time.  I failed before.  They will find a way to get at me again.  I should just stop now and give up……

When I asked the Lord to remove the Dark Hoverers, He sent me to Psalm 101.  Its a simple Psalm, written by David.  It is a Psalm that celebrates a holy life.  I will conduct the affairs of my house with a blameless heart. I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. Ps.101:2.  Walking in straightforward piety will not remove the spiritual attack, but it is a way through it.  I can choose to be holy and simple whether my heart is filled with elation or dread.  We urge you to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands. 1 Thess.4:10-11.  

Isn’t this the goal of the Christian life?  To be holy?  To be intimately acquainted with God? Again, as I have written before, my goal is not to fulfill a mission, but to walk humbly with my God.  I can do that in a million little ways on a daily basis, from folding Scott’s laundry to praying over my children in their beds.  This Bible Study is just like that.  It is always and only a way to pursue my Jesus, to be Mary at His feet. Whether it blesses anyone else is beside the point; it blesses me.  It brings me into His Presence, where there is fullness of joy.  I need nothing beyond that; it is the height and depth of joy.

How has the Lord brought you through spiritual attack?

4 responses »

  1. I read this just after praying that the Lord would continue to show me how to fulfill the calling He has placed on my life in spite of the circumstances of my life. I pray this because I want nothing other than to give glory to the One who is in complete control.

    • Jess, I’m thankful that I can encourage you. I cannot IMAGINE the mind-blowing blessing that the Lord is going to slather all over your precious life as you faithfully and simply walk with HIm in obedient trust through the hell that you are going through. You are such a treasure, Jessica. I’m proud to walk with you and I adore your sweet, searching heart. Hugs.

  2. Pingback: Tantrum « In Search of Sanctuary

  3. Pingback: Hope « In Search of Sanctuary

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s